Who Comes Up With This Stuff?

We have a new obsession with advertising, around here.  Television commercials, print ads, radio ads and billboards are all included.  We've turned it into sort of a game.  The point of the game?  Pick out the stupidest statements advertisers make.  Here are a few favorites:

• Farm picked broccoli (from a commercial for frozen meals).  As compared to what, free range broccoli?  Seriously, where else are you going to pick broccoli?
• Check with your doctor before taking prescription X (from dozens of ads for prescription medications).  Wouldn't I need my doctor to prescribe the medication in the first place?  Maybe this statement is for people who buy their meds on the street.
• Sauce made with real tomatoes (from a commercial for frozen pizza).  I agree with this one, I hate the taste of faux tomatoes.
• We pick only the most tender vegetables (from a commercial for frozen vegetables, the vegetables shown are carrots).   Should carrots be tender before they're cooked?  I like them to be crisp.  
• With crisp vegetables (from a magazine ad for frozen meals).  Should vegetables be crisp after they've been cooked?  I like them to be tender.
• Why mess with morning coffee (from a commercial for an energy drink).  Maybe because I like the taste of coffee?  If you follow this logic, why mess with eating food when you could just take a vitamin?
• Professional installation (from a carpet company ad).  Who else would a carpet company send to install your carpet?  Good hearted volunteers?  Isn't anyone paid to install carpet, by definition, a professional? 
• Made in our kitchens by cooks (from an ad for a fast food restaurant).  I'm so relieved that they don't have the janitor preparing my chicken.  
• Now I have the confidence to improve my credit score (from a commercial for an online credit reporting service).  Confidence, as far as I know, is not a form of legal tender.  Ever try using it to pay your bills?  It takes money, not confidence, to improve your credit score.
• Call *insert-phone-number-here* (from any number of billboards along the highway).  Is there a safe and convenient way to call, write down, or even read a phone number when traveling at 70 mph? 

I really do want to know, who comes up with this stuff?


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Willoughby