Crazy or Brilliant?

It's spring, so of course that means I've been doing a lot of spring cleaning.  I've found that while I'm doing menial tasks like dusting, vacuuming and washing windows, my mind tends to wander.  Here are some not necessarily cleaning-related things I've been pondering.

• Flea collars and miscellaneous flea prevention products - If they work to repel fleas and ticks on animals, would they work for people?  Let's say, for example, that you wanted to go for a walk in the woods.  Instead of tucking your pant legs into your socks to keeps ticks from getting on your legs, could you put flea collars around your ankles to repel them?  Or could you rub the liquid flea and tick preventer on your jeans?  If you're wearing shorts, could you rub it on your legs?  It's safe to use on your cats and dogs, after all.
• Vacuum cleaners - My vacuum cleaner has a great habit of shooting debris back out at my feet after it's passed through the rotating bristles.  I'm beginning to think of it as rearranging the crumbs on my kitchen floor more than removing them.  I propose rating vacuum cleaners on a "suction" scale instead of by the amount of amps they have (higher amps are supposed to indicate increased suction, but I have not found that to be the case).  Wouldn't we all prefer to have a model that really sucks instead of one that really sucks? 
• Languages - I can speak a little bit of several different languages, but not nearly enough to call myself fluent in anything but English.  If I make up my own language, can I call myself bi-lingual?
• Commercials - 1) Have you seen that commercial for the refrigerated dog food?  The one where the mom is feeding her kids dry food out of a bag?  They rationalize that if you wouldn't feed dry, bagged food to your family, you shouldn't feed it to your dog.  I have no problem with their product, but I think the comparison is a little off base.  Dogs and humans have very different palates.  I've never found my kids eating the hot dogs that fell off the grill into the dirt.  They don't lick their hindquarters, either (not that my kids have hindquarters.....oh, you know what I mean!).
• Commercials - 2) There's a commercial, I haven't seen it in a while so I don't remember the brand, but it's for shampoo.  The actress, sporting a lather covered head, says that they guarantee the shampoo will respect every strand of hair on your head.  I think that's one of the stupidest things I've ever heard!  How could you prove it one way or the other?  Could you take legal action?  And what would people say if you told them you were suing because your shampoo disrespected your hair?
• Local news - I was listening to the radio, one day, and I heard a promo for the local news.  It went something like this (and I'm not making this up), "You may be poisoning your family with a common kitchen utensil found to be radioactive.  We'll tell you about it today at 6:00."  Wha??  In the name of ratings, this channel is going to let me (potentially) poison my family by flipping our burgers with a (potentially) radioactive spatula if we eat before 6:00?  I forgot to tune in at 6:00 that day.  I may still be using a radioactive kitchen utensil!  
•  Butterfly - The name doesn't make sense, Flutterby is more logical.  Could they have been called flutterbies, originally?
• Why do we have words with multiple meanings?  Rose, for instance.  Whether your talking about the flower or the past tense of rise, rose is the appropriate word to use.  Other words have the same pronunciation, but different spellings, like threw and through.  Why not have a completely different word for everything?  I'll keep that in mind as I create my own language.

 Crazy or brilliant, I'll leave that for you to decide.
 

Willoughby