"Misplaced" Anger!

I'm so mad that I could scream! In fact, I just might. I'm going to sit right here at the computer and scream my head off. Maybe it will make me feel better. Hold on a second, ok? (Insert sound of me screaming). Nope, it didn't help.

Why am I mad? Because I can't find some really important paperwork that I need. I seem to have misplaced it (or someone else in this house did, but no one's fessing up). I'm usually a really organized person, so it makes me crazy when I can't find something. I've been through literally every inch of this house and I still can't find what I'm looking for.

There have been times when I thought I lost something and then realized that, instead, I had taken leave of my sanity for a short while. Want to laugh at my stupidity? Here are a few examples:

• I drive an SUV now, but I used to have a car. Once, after returning home from the grocery store, I opened the trunk to take the groceries out. They weren't there! I immediately assumed I had left them sitting in the shopping cart in the parking lot. I jumped back in the car, started it up and turned my head so I could see to back out of the driveway. That's when I spotted all of my bags in the back seat! It's only a five minute drive from the store, how could I have forgotten that I had put them there?
• When my son was a baby, we lived in a house where the laundry room was in the basement. While he was napping, I ran down and quickly sorted the clothes into piles on the floor, and threw a load of whites in the washer. Later, when I heard the buzzer go off, I headed down to put them in the dryer. When I opened the washer, it was empty. I don't know why, but my first thought was that the bleach had completely disintegrated the clothes down to molecules. I even looked in the washer's drain hose! Of course, what I had actually done was add the detergent, bleach and fabric softener, but left the pile of whites on the floor. I can only assume that, my son being a baby, I was a little sleep deprived. I mean, come on, it's bleach not sulfuric acid!

If those stories aren't stupid enough for you, here's a bonus story. It's not about losing something, but more like finding something.

• I looked out the window one night and saw a strange mini-van parked in our driveway. It was late at night and dark outside. I went and woke my sleeping husband to tell him that someone had parked in our driveway (I didn't tell him what kind of vehicle it was). He looked out and said he didn't see anything strange. Just his truck and my Mom and Dad's mini-van. I forgot we had borrowed it while the SUV was in the shop. You would think I would have at least recognized it!

Believe it or not, these are isolated incidents and I usually have a good memory. Now what was I looking for?