Sunday, February 15, 2009

There's Something In My Seat!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Valentines Day. I'd love to tell you about my evening.

As I told you before, my husband and I had plans to go to a concert. I listen to alternative rock most of the time, but I've got a real soft spot for 80's music. My favorite 80's band is Starship (or Jefferson Starship, back in the day). We go to see them every time they're in town. We've seen them in upscale theaters, outdoor venues and everything in between. They put on a great show and it's always a good time.

When I saw that they were coming to town for Valentines Day, I got really excited. Mr. Willougby and I decided this would be our gift to each other. We ordered tickets right away, front row, orchestra left.

We had never been to this theater before, but we were impressed when we got there. It is only about an hour drive to get there. The parking was close (and free). Inside, they had a small bar where we each got a glass of wine (white zinfandel, but what can you do?) and sat at a small cafe table. We don't go out without the kids very often, so we were downright giddy.

About ten minutes before showtime, we went into the theater itself and found our seats. When I say we had front row, I really mean front row. We could touch the stage while sitting down. It was fantastic.

We had chosen the first two seats in the row. Mr. Willougby sat in the aisle seat and I sat in the second seat. There was an empty seat between myself and the next person in the row. I assumed it would remain empty because, really, who goes to a concert alone? I would soon find out.

Just as the lights went down, a very large woman came barrelling in. Guess where her seat was? Directly next to mine. Ok, no big deal, I can live with having to share my armrest. As soon as she sat down, however, it was painfully clear that I would be sharing more than an armrest. She was far too wide to fit in the seat and the excess spilled over into my seat. Her rear end was literally resting against my right leg even after I scooted myself to the far left of my seat. Let me say that I have every sympathy for someone who struggles with their weight as I do. I'm not model thin, myself, not by a longshot, but I do fit into a standard theater seat with room to spare.

I thought, maybe, if I put my elbow on the armrest, she would adjust herself and move over a little. No luck, she was oozing over the armrest, too. I tried to ignore it, I wanted to enjoy the show and I didn't want to be rude, but I seriously dislike having a stranger's body parts pressing against me.

As soon as the band started playing, things started to get worse. She kept pulling her purse off her arm, elbowing me in the process, so she could write notes on a piece of paper. She would scribble something down and the put the paper back. This was followed by some strange, seated dance movements accompanied by more elbowing and oozing farther onto my seat. Occasionally, she would reach out and touch the stage and then pull her hand back as if it were hot. That's when I realized that she was a little nuts, too!

This behavior continued for the entire concert. I wanted to say something, but I couldn't think of anything that wouldn't be insulting. Still, though, I was miserable. We paid $50 per seat and she was taking up at least $25 of mine.

Starship was great, however, and I did enjoy the show. They played most of my favorites (there's never enough time for all of them). By the time they got to their encore, however, I couldn't take any more of this woman's purse and elbow. I got up and stood at the end of the stage. I know some of the band saw me and I hope they didn't think it was any reflection on the show. Ms. Rude noticed, too, because she kept staring at me.

When the house lights came up, I told Mr. Willougby to grab my purse and jacket, I just wanted to high tail it out of the theater and get away from the woman who had basically sat on my lap. After I left, she approached my husband and said "I'm sorry if I did something" to which Mr. Willoughby responded, "You just spoiled her whole night" and she said "I was just trying to have a good time" and he said "Yeah, by being an inconsiderate *expletive*!" Just another reason I love Mr. Willougby, he always knows just what to say!!

I had hoped to have some pictures of the show to share with you, but as luck would have it, I remembered my camera, but left the memory card sticking out of the port in my computer! I tried to take a picture with my cell phone, but the battery was almost dead and it wouldn't work! I got a few pictures with my husbands cell phone, but I haven't figured out how to transfer them to the computer. If I do, I'll post them. For now, I'll post a few from a concert last summer.

If you'll indulge me, I'd like to leave a few personal notes to the band, should they ever read this (I'm sure they've got nothing to better to do than read my blog, right?)!

Mickey - As usual, I was blown away by your performance! Your voice truly gets better every time we see you, it's amazing! I was a little worried for your safety last night when the rude woman next to me stood up to smack your hand, I was certain she was going to pull you off stage. If I ever get the chance to meet you in person again (I met you a few years ago), I've got a question I'm just dying to ask you.....
Stephanie - You really rocked White Rabbit and all the rest of the Airplane tunes! Really impressive!
Mark - I know you saw the nut case sitting next to me, she was right in front of you. Admit it, I saw you smirk! Seriously, though, the Fooled Around And Fell In Love solo was amazing!
Phil - That keyboard solo? It's mind blowing! We loved it!
Jeff - You had your dance on last night, my man! My son is a bass player, how you can play like that and dance at the same time I'll never know. That kick was pretty awesome, too.
Pelican - As always, soooo impressive!

Thanks for the indulgence! On a scale of one to ten, I'd have to give the show a ten, the seating however........


Heidi said...

I have a thing for some good 80's music. I am keeping your page on just to hear the music :) This reminds me of cruising around in my 80's mobile... which I had to sell when I started having my babies :(

Raoulysgirl said...

I'm glad you enjoyed the show, but sorry you had to share most of your seat with Pizza the Hut (which will only be funny if you've seen the movie "Spaceballs.") Hurray to your Mr. for letting her know that her inconsideration did NOT go unnoticed! Sure, her size may have been unavoidable, but she should have known how much she was invading your space with her dancing and purse!

Donna-FFW said...

You are too funny. I have to check you every morning to enjoy with my coffee. LMAO!